How to treat bad people.

"Bad people" is not necessarily the right term, but others who speak poorly of you, ones who are purposely hurtful to you or your friends, are not good people in my opinion. In high school, you will come across many of these delightful individuals who you will hear speaking poorly of you but then smiling at you the next hour. The fascinating thing about these individuals is that they have learned to have the best looking masks ever. When they smile and have a conversation with you, complimenting your outfit or better yet, speaking poorly of yet another person to you, as if they put their trust in you not to say anything, they can be truly convincing. This is yet another thing that makes high school the terrifying experience it is, can you every really know who a person is, or are you just seeing a mask? Once I figure out how to see through them I will let you know.
How are we supposed to treat these masked people? Situations will arise when people tell you of what someone said about you, usually to cause drama, but then you can see the outline of the mask of that particular person. The conscience in the back of my brain that I never want to listen to in these situations is telling me to "shower them in kindness". On the other hand, my first instinct is to give them my best glare from across the room and make sure they feel terrible about what they have done. I am here to inform you of how poorly that technique works. The masked individuals, once you can see their actual faces are hungry for drama and the knee-jerk reaction you give them is what they want. Ultimately, the best way to handle a situation where you learn of someone speaking poorly of you is to just start laughing, and feel bad for them. The reason you should feel bad for them is because they were jealous of you, or were bored with their own lives and not focusing on more important things.
But when is something someone has done or said to others too hurtful to do everything you can to distance yourself with them. If something one has done to you or your reputation that is that terrible, my only recommendation is that you act civil and avoid the reaction they want from you. Hopefully they will move on, find a new hobby, like knitting.
There are many derogatory names girls get called behind their backs. "Flirts" and "Teases" being amongst them. I think these are the worst labels you could give a person. Calling an individual one of these names is not only damaging their character as seen by others when one speaking of someone who way, but it is directly tarnishing the way someone is. Often, these girls may just be energetic and fun people, who like to and are able to socialize. Once these girls find out about these false allegations about themselves being passed from one of their peers to the next, what are they to do? Stop being themselves? Start acting reserved and antisocial? Personally, when I hear about a rumor spreading about me I do my best to prove them wrong in whatever it is. However, in this situation there is no right way to handle it. Doing the right thing and showering the person speaking ill of you only justifies their rumor of you being a flirt, because they are too immature to be able to tell the difference.
Rumors suck.
Luckily, in high school we are blessed to be around immature people all day who just love to spread them. What a joy. regardless of what others think of you, do not let it change you as a person. Not everyone will have something bad to say about you, even if it may feel that way. Stick through it, just be nice, and keep on laughing because you can.
JSL