JSL

Find someone who makes your cheeks hurt. Someone who will not allow you to frown. That is the kind of person you should want to be around. 

This blog is titled Just Start Laughing (Because You Can) for a reason. When k first titles this blog, the only reason I named it Just Start Laughing is because it fit with the initials of my name. After I started blogging, and found that I really enjoyed it, it took on a new meaning. 

Laughing is something that I believe everyone should do more than they think is necessary, and even more than what is appropriate at some times. Because laughter is something pure. It is the best antidote for turning your days around. If someone makes you laugh while you are sitting there sobbing, you instantly stop crying and revert to sniffling, which is not quite as bad. 

However, when those bad days occur, the hardest part is allowing yourself to laugh. When people are in bad moods we tend to become very stubborn. We do not allow ourselves to be happy for some reason. Things happen and the tunnel you are walking through seems to be getting darker rather than lighter, and sometimes seems as though it is never-ending, but there are some people who can change that for you. These people are the lights along the path, who give you hope that the end is near. Finding someone who can one, put up with you while you slug your way through the tunnel, and two want to go out of their way to make you smile are the best kind of people. You are going to doubt yourself. There are many out there who claim to want the best for you but quickly show you their actual intentions. I am telling you that good people are out there, I promise. These people are extremely hard to find though, so when you find someone who can make you just start laughing, hold on to them. These people are the ones who make high school worth it. 

JSL

The End Of Teenagers.

 The end is near. I can see it approaching quickly. Some day soon there will be no lessons that have been learned in our "rebellious teenage years". We will never get to experience the thrill of making mistakes because of this terrible phenomenon that is occurring. Teenagers will take the place of gossip magazines and policemen and people in politics. Do you not see it? The precious time as teenagers is being lost due to this, this, THING, that is engulfing us. It magnifies every, single, mistake someone makes. Your private conversations, pictures, thoughts, ideas, are no longer things you can keep to yourself. We cannot help it. We are just drawn to it and it is just spreading like a virus.

With no vaccine.

When it has taken over all of the teenagers left in the world, the world will look like a very different place. Only a select few will make mistakes, and they will be shunned and become outsiders of our society. Everyone else will become vultures. Watching, waiting, ready to swoop in on the next headline of someone's mistake. And they have no choice but to become vultures, because if they do not, they too will be singled out for not doing what everyone else has deemed "right". 

My parents never tell me about all the mistakes they made when they were my age. My aunts and uncles, on the other hand, that is another story. Part of me wants to think that they want me to learn from my own mistakes, but I can not shake the feeling that that is not the case. What if this, THING, is working on the parent's side. They never cease to stop complaining about how it is taking over, but what if it is helping them? They no longer have to worry about their children sneaking around or doing things they are not supposed to because this, THING, is attached to their hip. Parents know that their children care about what other people think of them, whether they admit to it or not, and are forced into doing the right thing because any mistake they make will be broadcasted to everyone they know, and many more whine with which they have never met. 

Social media is the disease and our smart phones are the carriers. 

Everything we do, everyone can see.

Friends.

Family.

Teachers.

Followers that you've never met.

Younger kids looking up to you.

Coaches.

Colleges.

Future employers.

Are people okay with that? They continue to post things like they do not consider it a disease, but how long will it take before start to care again? Will it be too late, and we will all have no choice but to turn into vultures? Will this whole generation be shunned by the next to come?

But even if all this is happening, what do we do?

JSL

TTYL.

One of the hardest things to do in life is to say goodbye. Even when we see individuals every single day of the week, it is still difficult to say goodbye. Even though we are all connected by apps on our phones that can connect us in an instant. We are given the chance to call our grandparents everyday but yet sometimes it is still hard to say goodbye. This is not something that is new. When I was I little girl, most kids would cry when they had to leave their parents I would cry when I had to leave my grandparents. Do not get me wrong, I love my parents very much but I would always have so much fun on the farm. I loved it there and I never wanted to leave. It was always so hard to say goodbye.

Just like it was hard then it is still hard now, whenever my friend comes back from college, it makes me so sad to watch her leave. Or when I get to see my friend who now lives in Florida, the fantastic weekend comes to a bitter end when I have to let them go back. I could call whenever I wanted too, check in whenever I had the chance, but for some reason life usually gets in the way. We cherish the moments we have with the people we love, and the reason it is so hard to say goodbye is because we do not know then we will get the chance to see them again, to be able to spend quality time with them again. Our lives prevent us from spending time with the things we hold dear. I do not believe that saying goodbye is ever going to get any easier. Maybe for one person in our lives it will, because we will decide to never have to say goodbye to them and they will put a circle around one of your fingers. And one day you will joke around to your kids that you wish you could some days, but until we make that one exception, goodbyes will always have a sour taste, Maybe as our generations continue to get smarter and smarter, they will find something to make them a little better, bittersweet perhaps. Until then, make time to spend time and talk to those who matter to you. 

JSL

Just Call.

I have this skill that many people that my age have, I can text without looking. I have obtained this skill by walking in the hallways and not wanting to run into people, I have to keep eye contact with someone to be polite in a conversation, make the teacher think that there is nothing in my lap, yet while I still have to do these things I am able to answer someone in a text. My mother is someone who is fantastic at typing very quickly, as are many people of her generation. I believe every generation has a skill that develops with the technology of their day and age. My grandparents could probably read newspapers really fast or were the stealthiest when passing notes in class.
Back to my wonderful talent. I believe that the reason I have developed this skill is because people are used to getting information quickly. Whenever we are in an area of low service connection or no wifi, you would think the world was coming to and end. That reaction is something that I am guilty of as well, a long with many of my peers. Our greatest talents may be viewed as one of our greatest weaknesses if you think about it. However, there are some days where the dizziness of the rapid information flooding my brain forces me to take a step back from it all. There have been many instances where I would rather sit and talk on the phone all day long with one person, or have a close friend over to actually speak to one another then be constantly connected to everyone at once. Actually talking to some is so important and so valuable that I fear that with every passing day it is slipping away with the society I see around me. Although I see people becoming more and more engulfed in their phones every day, I do believe that I am not the only one out there that sees the importance in talking. The call app in our phones is not something that everyone has forgotten about.

JSL

Up On the Housetop.

Santa Claus is coming to town alright. His jolly face can be seen on top of rooftops and in advertisements in the mall listing dates of his appearances. Even before the turkey has left the table the thought of Christmas has already flooded the minds of all parents and gift givers everywhere. 

I hate to break the news that Santa was run out of work by the growing desire of parents to get things for their kids. For some reason they think that they would know their kids and what they want better than Santa and his elves would. There is no arguing that Christmas season is growing larger and larger every year. People do not wait until Black Friday to do all their shopping. But when Black Friday comes around, people can be scary. There is a website that tracks the number of deaths and injuries in the United States just for that day. People are crazy about the sales. They shop until they drop with their bags full of, things. Things? Is that really what all the fuss is about? Stuff? The Christmas industry is booming because individuals are obsessed with materialistic things. Not that that is a bad thing, it stimulates the economy. And it will continue until we stop innovating, because there will always be something new that people want. As long as our generations keep getting smarter and smarter there will continue to be new generations of smarter and smarter versions of Iphones.

But think about this question, why do we ask for things that will only satisfy us until the next new thing comes around? Rather than asking our parents for yet another expensive thing that will only last so long, why should we not ask for things that mean more from our family and work for the things we want in life. Hand written letters filled with stories of our parents childhoods, your grandma's recipes, a list of things that your friends love about you. When we count our blessings, we do not count how many electronics we have, how many flat screens or how great our car is, we count the things that matter most to us. So why do we not change what Christmas means in today's society? Oh yea, that darn economy. 

JSL

Sad emoji.

When people are sad, we all have our different things we do. We eat ice cream to get over a boy, we listen to sad songs because the people singing them know how we feel, we isolate ourselves because we already feel alone. I have a playlist of sad songs that always make me cry. Why? Because I was moping after a breakup when I made it. There is a time to grieve, but do not forget that there is also a time to be happy. 

Do not allow yourself to grieve for too long. It's unhealthy. Ice cream will make you fat, sitting alone does not make things better, and there are more people than the artists who sing sad songs who know what you may be going through. Life goes on, so why let it keep going on without you while you are stuck in this perpetual sorrow for whatever it is that happened to you. Phone a friend, put on a happy playlist, force yourself to use the smiley face emoji, just start laughing. Yes, things can make you sad, but life is better when you choose to be happy. Ultimately, it is a decision you have to make for yourself. Maybe some of you fine-feathers friends are lucky enough to have friends that will snap you out of it, so you will not have to make that choice. Keep those people around, and be that friend to others. Looking back at low moments that I have had in high school, I appreciate them. No, they were definitely not fun at the time, too many tears were shed and I did waste too much time dwelling on things, but they made me appreciate the good times so much more. Expect that your high school career will consist of both high points and low points, it would be a pretty boring dollar coaster without them.

JSL

Sharks.

Sometimes, high school feels like you are floating in an ocean just waiting to see where you end up. Often times, you feel as if you need a life-preserver, yet there is open water all around, and you must find the strength you did not have to keep yourself afloat. You might think that the longer you are exposed to this new terrain, the better you get at it. However, this is not the case because high school has new challenges hidden behind every wave.

Treading water is exhausting. Above everything else, not being able to take a break is one of the hardest things about it. Life preservers do come, every once in a while, falling off of ships labeled "snow days" or "summer break". Life preservers only last so long, never long enough as it always seems, but you should be grateful for them. They help you float but what they cannot protect you from, is the vast, unknown, immensity that lies underneath you. 

Sharks for instance. Just as deadly by itself as it is when followed by others. They feed not only on your fear, but also your tears, your feelings of hopelessness, and your struggling to keep afloat. These sharks are very intimidating. They are good at being what they are, sharks. They have to be, in order for them to maintain their control in the sea. They are able to get inside your mind, making you question every single move you make. Terrifying you into believing that any move you make might be the last, forcing you to be still while they circle you. In the moment, sharks seem as if they will never go away. However, as crazy as this sounds, they do get bored and move on. The best shark repellent that I have found so far comes in a can labeled "just start laughing", in case you ever feel as if you are the shark bait this week.

JSL

Wolves.

The advice from every senior to the freshmen. Three years ago, when I was a bright-eyed freshmen, I ate up every word the seniors would say. They had been here in this school for four years, they had to know what they were talking about. Right? So I listened. I did my homework, I never questioned superiority, and I got involved.

With everything.

The administration gladly supported their advice. Every year they preach the same words of wisdom to the freshmen, "Get involved!" 

"Clubs, sports, music, drama, speech, THAT'S A DO!"

"And let us not forget to stress the importance of how fantastic it is to take as many AP classes as you can," the administrators thought to themselves. 

Then there was me, sitting there, watching the announcements, thinking this was the place where I could do everything. Kennedy had managed to make the impossible, possible. 

Off I went, joint show choir and band and then diving and then one acts and then speech and then track and I took an AP class and I joined student government. Sleep was for the weak. I was expected to do everything, so I did. Freshmen year went by and at times it was hard, but I survived. Sophomore year I took a more rigorous course and school itself got harder, as was expected, but everyone else was sleep deprived and struggling, it was normal. Right? Junior year came, the most important year they say, and along came two jobs on top of my schedule. 

That was the tipping point. 

When the time comes and you grow old and wise and become a senior, give meaningful advice. If you tell students to get involved, list the consequences. Do not just throw them to the wolves. The stress, anxiety, and sleep deprivation, claws and bites just as wolves would. Remind them that the best weapons they have against wolves are organization and responsibility, and maybe they will survive with less scars than we came out with. 

JSL

Decisions.

You are in high school now. You are almost legally an adult. You have a couple of years left living at home. You still have to ask to use the restroom. You might be scared. You should be. 

All we have been taught throughout high school is to obey. Whether it is the teachers who tell you what to study, how to do math problems or how to behave, to your peers who ultimately decide what decisions you make socially. When are we supposed to learn how to think for ourselves? Our parents are doing their job when they tell us what to do, but sometimes when we attempt to make a decisions and they are the wrong ones, we face the consequences. We get shunned at school for doing something everyone else does not approve of. We get yelled at for speaking our mind in class by the teacher. Rather than being open-minded and optimistic, we become robots controlled by those who surround us, giving them the authority to determine our decisions. Whenever we make a choice of our own, we cower and just wait for it to explode. However, out of all of this, we are supposed to become free thinkers of our own. You think you are going to decide what college you want to go to? Think again. Oh wait, we cannot do that by ourselves yet, let me raise my hand first.

JSL

Leadership.

In presidential elections, candidates run on a platform of change. As my government teacher always says,"No one will vote for someone, if their platform is that they are gonna run the country just like the last guy did." Their logos revolve all around the ideas of 'reform' and 'change' because that is what people want to do when they are put in charge. When one is given a leadership role their goal is to make things better than they were. If they only want the position for the title, they will not be a well liked leader because change is what people expect.

Because we live in a democratic society, people usually elect their leaders. There are also plenty of situations where people with leadership qualities rise to the top because of the situations they are presented with need someone to take charge. However, these individuals have less stress placed on them from others, because no one elected them, but they may place expectations on themselves.

As someone who has recently been elected to be in a leadership role, I can tell you it is extremely honoring and humbling, It was also very nerve-racking, because I have recently been struggling with balancing all of the things on my schedule I have this year, how will I be able to manage a whole team next year? I am no president, but there were so many things that came to my mind revolving around change and what I myself could do to better the team. How could I pass up this opportunity? I see myself as a rather out going and personable person and I want people to remember me for that, so what better opportunity to do that than accept my elected position as a captain of the Swimming and Diving team at Kennedy High School.

My name is Jayden Lovell and I approve this message.

Worth.

There is a price for everything, every good you buy has a price to keep the economy flowing, it's logical, it makes sense. However, when someone says something is "worth it" we stop thinking of prices in money and start to think of them in consequences, or the results of the decisions you make. By telling someone who they are "worth it" you are telling the person that whatever happens to them as a result of being with them, being their friend, doing anything with them means more to them than any consequence that may happen. I believe that people do not know how powerful these words are.
There are many words and phrases that are used now that have lost all meaning to the people who are saying them, and unfortunately, some of us do not realize when people do not mean it. I high school, there are many people who say things without meaning it, but there are also many who are deceived by the untrue words of others. What bothers me the most though, is that when the ones who believed the words of others find out that they were lies, the state of that person is the compromised. They stop trusting people, and begin to question everything. The statement "worth it" in my opinion is the worst of all things someone could lie about because you make the person you said it to doubt that they ever were really worth it.
I cannot caution high school students enough about how many things people will say to them that they do not mean. Even though going through high school questioning everything is not the ideal scenario, I am telling you now it is a lot better than how you would feel after finding out someone who you have trusted as just been lying to you, or they changed their mind about you. As you roam the halls of your high school, creating acquaintances and hopefully some good friends, please be cautious of what you say to others. Understand that things happen and feelings change so do not promise someone something unless you are positively certain you mean it and nothing will change your opinion. Say what you mean and mean what you say. In other words, think before you speak. Words are worth thinking about before you say them. This situation will happen to you, it happens to a lot of people because there are a whole lot of people who are just fantastic people, but just start laughing and get over it. Ones who lie to you are never worth your time.
JSL

Passion.

Passion is something that is described as "strong and barely controllable" when I searched it on Google. We all have it for something, teachers have it for teaching, athletes for their sport, musicians for the feeling they get when they listen to music. All of these things are very important to the ones who have a passion for it, and that is important. People now-a-days disregard the fact that whatever they say in a derogatory manner could be overheard by someone who feels strongly about the subject. 

The worst thing someone could do is make someone feel uncomfortable about what they feel about something. To make someone feel insecure about their passion, is something that should make one stand back and reevaluate themselves, but no one ever does. So in high school, where you are surrounded by people who do not care about what they say and how it could affect others, be the one person who is constantly checking themselves. If you are that person, you will be the flower poking through the sidewalk as other students walk with their head down.

This may sound like something that would be posted on tumbler or twitter, and it probably has been. Regardless of what the person is talking about, it is marvelous to hear someone talk about something they love and are passionate about. They forget that commas exist and never stop to take a breath because they just have so much to tell you about whatever it is that they are interested in. It can not help but make you smile when someone lights up to tell you about something. If you have the chance to be the person someone seeks out to share something with, do not hesitate to listen intently. It is a humbling feeling when someone waits all day just for the chance to talk to you about something because they know that they will be able to be open and honest with you. It makes you feel like such and important person, and brightens your cloudy days. So remember, do not just laugh at someone's passion because the last thing you want to do is make someone feel bad about themselves. But if someone has a passion for comedy, then you can just start laughing.
JSL

Important People.

"You tell your mom everything?"
Yes. Of course. Why is that even surprising?
It blows my mind how many individuals are shocked when they hear that piece of information about myself. To be completely honest, it is hard sometimes, especially when I do something that I know will disappoint her, or other times when she feels the need to assist in my person struggles I face in high school, but I do not intend to stop informing her about what I am going through. I feel as if a lot of high school students do not want to tell their parents anything because of the privacy they think they are entitled to, or the fear of disappointment they think they will receive, or the fact that no one else does. Honestly, I would recommend letting your parents in on everything, they have been in high school before, they survived. They may have not been in the exact same situations you have been going through, but that does not mean that they do not know anything about high school, odds are that they know more than you give them credit for. If anything, they will be there for you to vent to and even cry to when you need them. Their opinion on how to handle any situation you are put in is probably better than your knee-jerk reaction to it, because they have the mental capacity of an adult, they can tell you the best way to handle it maturely.
Other than them being able to give you advice and sympathize with you, telling your parents everything gives you a moral compass. I believe that it makes you think twice about decisions you are making because you question what your parents would think of which one you would make. This is not a bad thing. If your parents only want what is best for you, then thinking of them in places where you could yourself into a sticky situation, would benefit you. Why would one want to learn lessons the hard way if they do not have to? Stay on good terms with your parents kids, laugh at their jokes and attempts at selfies, and maybe they will help pay for college.
JSL

Selection.

 If you have not gotten the message from my previous posts, here it is again: High school is tough. Sleep deprivation, the rising of stress and anxiety levels, and the wonderful thoughts of our peers of our every move make it quite the experience. Things that make everything worth while, however, include acing a test studied hard for, winning competitions in sports, and experiencing it all with good people, your friends. 

One thing you need to know about people in high school is that they will change. Experiences that individuals encounter define them as a person and will change who they are, it's inevitable. The may also change their relationship with you. I have had many best friends, many different types of friend groups, and also feel at times I and just floating along the timeline not tethered to anyone.  So before I explain how I believe you should select your friends, I want to establish the fact that they may not be there forever. Although that is what would be the ideal scenario which we all hope for, a lot of times this does not happen and it is good to have already accepted it. With that in mind, when choosing friends I would stay away from the ones who enjoy bringing drama with them wherever they go, the falling out with those friends will be painful and long-lasting. 

The ultimate advice I can give you to get you through high school is to surround yourself with good people. If you surround yourself with good people, who have the same goals as you and believe the same things, you will have a solid base for whenever you may stumble.  Now know that people like this are difficult to come by sometimes, but that does not mean you should ever stop looking. As an upperclassmen, I have discovered that there are few whom which I would call my dearest friends. A lot which I do not see everyday. Some have moved to other states, others have gone to college, and yet others still who I compete with in my sporting events. Having friends you talk to every day is nice, but you might not see your closest friends every day. If you do, know you are a lucky individual, not all of us are able to.  Do not get me wrong, there are plenty of people at my school which I would call my friends, but there are few who I would call and let all my problems out to. When you find someone who you can stand most of the time, make sure to hold them close, but know you or them may change as time goes on. One thing is for sure though, high school is a lot easier with your friends.

JSL

Condescension.

When talking to little kids, they do not notice when we change the way we speak in order to allow them to understand. Presenting ourselves differently does not change the way that they see us. In high school, that does not go well. First, high school students see themselves as if they know everything. Second, although maturity levels of every student vary, high school students are not children, and they still deserve respect, which means not speaking down to them. Not only does this apply to adults, but also us students ourselves.

Conversations held between a student and an adult should have the underlying understanding that the teacher has ultimate authority over the student. However, this does not mean the the adult should talk down to the student because they are talking a person who can think for themselves. Respect is very important in all conversations, and when respect is not given, the whole conversation becomes meaningless. When adults fail to give students respect, tipically, the student becomes offended and do not invest themselves in the interaction. Also, another consequence of the failure of respect given is that they will not want to talk to you again, and also not give the respect you lacked to give them.

Interactions between student and student should hardly ever be predominately one ranking higher over the other, with only a few exceptions. In high school, we all grow to be on the same field intellectually. When one talks down to someone when they are one the same intellectual level, it is rude. The reason this happens, in my opinion, is usually when one believes that they add seemingly right and all-knowing of the topic being discussed. And typically,  because we are only in our teens, this is not the case. Another observation that I have made, is that it is usually an opinion-based. In high school, a lot of students are thinking for themselves, questioning things, and forming their own opinions. When someone does not allow someone to speak their mind, by talking down to the or interrupting, it speaks volumes of their character. Regardless of whether you believe that someone is right or wrong in their opinion, you should still give them the respect they deserve. As humans we were blessed with the ability to think for ourselves. With saying that, should we not allow one to express their God-given right as an individual?

JSL

Buttons.

If someone were ever to tell me that buttons were meant to be pushed, I would get very upset with that person. Some buttons, that are can most certainly be labeled "DO NOT PRESS" and those are ones that one should not touch. Others, are only authorized to be pressed by specific people, and others yet, are meant to be slowly forgotten about. Everyone, however, has their collection of buttons.
Buttons are made when a situation happens that makes a certain subject, difficult for one to talk about. For some, when someone pushes their buttons, they become enraged and can be very vocal about whatever instance or idea was brought up. For others, the subject which was under the button pressed was something very saddening for that person and they become very distant. Regardless, with any button that was pressed, it typically ruins that individual's day. The people who go out and purposely try to press people's buttons, are terrible people. They have no idea what kind of day that person has had, and even if they think they did, what right do they have to attempt to ruin their mood? 
However, buttons can be pressed by accident. For example, when arguments arise between two people, specific buttons are found to directly hurt a person, and often, these buttons have cobwebs and have been left alone for a while, making them hurt more when they are pressed. Another time that this happens is when friends are joking around. Things are brought up that are truly intended to be laughed over, but sometimes press buttons that one did not realize had been formed. 
Now if someone pressed one of your buttons unintentionally, it is important to forgive them quickly. In most cases, they will feel awful for doing anything to upset you, and deserved to be forgiven. But in other cases, where they intentionally press certain buttons to make you upset, they have no room to be in your daily life. Buttons are formed all the time, but in order to protect yourself from button-pressers, try to get over situations as quickly as possible. Everyone has buttons, so know that it is okay if someone presses some of yours, and also be aware of what you say to others. Be sure to reference my post on sensitivity regarding that whole situation though.

JSL

Maturity.

I have referenced this term in many of my blogs, and my definition of maturity may be completely different from the next person's, but frankly, I do not care.
Maturity is an ever-changing state of being. I do not believe that someone is ever considered to be completely mature. I think that one can be mature in instances they are faced with, or grow to be more mature than they once were, but being mature is something that I do not think is something one obtains. There are certain things though, with which we must all strive to do in life.
One thing we must attempt to do is not care about the opinion of others. I do believe that we should all care a little bit, because you should always be questioning your character, but in regards to the individuals who spread false statements, one should think little of them. The saying "take it with a grain of salt" is something everyone, especially in high school, should go through life saying to themselves. There are certain opinions with which you should care about, employers, teachers, parents, the ones who will not make things up about you. The others' opinions, you should take very lightly and try to not think twice about them. As I said, maturity is something you will always aim for, so not caring is something that is very difficult in high school. Especially with the introduction of social media and whispers in the hall which are unavoidable. Its something to work at.
Another thing that you should work at is your character. We should not care what irrelevant others think of us when they have false information, but if we are constantly working at making ourselves better people, improving our character, hopefully they will have less to taunt you with. To improve your character, you must first establish your personal morals and what you stand for, which can be a whole other process itself. This is what I believe a lot of people are attempting to do in high school, find what they want to support, and what things they think are not okay. Who you really are as a person, is what you should concentrate on, not what others say. Those that I mentioned earlier, the ones whose opinions you should care about, are the ones who will not make up things about you and look at who you are based on what they have seen you done. They have reached that point on the maturity scale. I cannot emphasize how important your character is, you are the one in control of it and you should be your biggest critic of it. After you establish who you want to be, making decisions will become so much easier to make.
Different situations require different levels of appropriateness. Something one needs to work on when attempting to be mature is knowing where the line is in the situations they are presented with. Some may call it "having a filter", but knowing what is and is not okay to say in certain interactions is a big step in maturity.
Overall, if someone is actively attempting to be a better person and become more mature, they are one step ahead of everyone around them that are not. These people are few and far between in high school in my opinion, but that should not stop you from attempting to be one.
JSL

Popularity.

The idea of "popularity" probably was seeded into our minds as we entered middle school. There was the "group" that everyone wanted to be in. In my case, the group of girls that all came from the same elementary and all the ones all the boys liked. As we morphed and changed into high school students, so did the definition of "popularity". Personally, I believe that the term means something different for everyone and thankfully becomes less and less prevalent in our day-to-day lives as we age.
In order for the term "popular" to have a meaning, a person, a group, a goal in mind has to be labeled as something you want to be or fit into. Some may think that the more friends you have makes you popular. Others may think its the specific group of friends you have. Yet, others still may think that it is the number of parties you get invited to. It is different for everyone. Whatever the definition of it is for you, try to not give it much thought. As an upperclassmen, something that I can tell freshmen to look forward to is that with the more experiences you have in high school, the less and less you will care about what others have to say about you. And the few friends you may have, are most likely some of the best people you will ever meet and are way better than a huge group of them.
When you enter as a freshmen, do not change yourself to fit into the groups you want to be in, make your own group. Allow the natural forces to bring good people towards you, and stick with them. "Popularity" is something we all aim for at some point in our lives, but the sooner you realize that it is irrelevant in your high school career the better off you will be.
JSL

Weeds.

Pesky things. Annoying things that show up long after you think that you have gotten rid of long ago. You use everything you can think of to prevent the determined ones from reappearing. Pesticides, pulling them by the roots, putting your plants in good soil to prevent them from seeding, but sometimes they still pop up.
There are numerous things in high school that can be compared to weeds, bad scores on tests that haunt you at the end of the term, the dumb decision you made at a party, the last guy you dated or talked to, rumors that refuse to die. When any of these things bud once again, it tends to ruin your day. Some are able to take it like a grain of salt, pull it out, and keep on gardening. Others, including myself, tend to dwell on these things and allow it to damper the beauty of your flowers. Even after it is pulled out, the hole where it was rooted is a constant reminder for the rest of the day that it was there. People were talking about it, and it is never a good feeling knowing that others were speaking of you behind your back and it was not in the best light. Often, these weeds come up because they are the tool of some individuals to drain your day, your pretty flowers of their colors.
I picture something like this:
Your neighbor sees you hard at work on your magnificent garden. They turn around and look at theirs to see that it is okay, nothing too spectacular but not too shabby. Then suddenly. they see the green on their thumb spreading, up their arms until they are engulfed in the green of envy. They want your garden, but they can not have it. Faced with this dilemma, they think of the next best solution, if they can not have your garden, they will ruin yours until theirs is better by comparison. Not wanting to be caught red-handed, they think of ways that will slowly eat away at your garden's beauty. Weeds. Tossing them over the fence every time they get a chance. The next thing your neighbor does is they sit back and watch the destruction take place.
This is what people in high school are doing when they bring up things from their past. They just want to ruin your day, ruin the image others have of you in their mind. Do not let them. Just pull out those weeds, and continue on. Now as badly as you may want to throw them back over the fence, it is probably not worth it. Be the bigger person, their garden is probably pitiful in comparison anyways and they need all the help they can get.
JSL

How to treat bad people.

"Bad people" is not necessarily the right term, but others who speak poorly of you, ones who are purposely hurtful to you or your friends, are not good people in my opinion. In high school, you will come across many of these delightful individuals who you will hear speaking poorly of you but then smiling at you the next hour. The fascinating thing about these individuals is that they have learned to have the best looking masks ever. When they smile and have a conversation with you, complimenting your outfit or better yet, speaking poorly of yet another person to you, as if they put their trust in you not to say anything, they can be truly convincing. This is yet another thing that makes high school the terrifying experience it is, can you every really know who a person is, or are you just seeing a mask? Once I figure out how to see through them I will let you know.
How are we supposed to treat these masked people? Situations will arise when people tell you of what someone said about you, usually to cause drama, but then you can see the outline of the mask of that particular person. The conscience in the back of my brain that I never want to listen to in these situations is telling me to "shower them in kindness". On the other hand, my first instinct is to give them my best glare from across the room and make sure they feel terrible about what they have done. I am here to inform you of how poorly that technique works. The masked individuals, once you can see their actual faces are hungry for drama and the knee-jerk reaction you give them is what they want. Ultimately, the best way to handle a situation where you learn of someone speaking poorly of you is to just start laughing, and feel bad for them. The reason you should feel bad for them is because they were jealous of you, or were bored with their own lives and not focusing on more important things.
But when is something someone has done or said to others too hurtful to do everything you can to distance yourself with them. If something one has done to you or your reputation that is that terrible, my only recommendation is that you act civil and avoid the reaction they want from you. Hopefully they will move on, find a new hobby, like knitting.
There are many derogatory names girls get called behind their backs. "Flirts" and "Teases" being amongst them. I think these are the worst labels you could give a person. Calling an individual one of these names is not only damaging their character as seen by others when one speaking of someone who way, but it is directly tarnishing the way someone is. Often, these girls may just be energetic and fun people, who like to and are able to socialize. Once these girls find out about these false allegations about themselves being passed from one of their peers to the next, what are they to do? Stop being themselves? Start acting reserved and antisocial? Personally, when I hear about a rumor spreading about me I do my best to prove them wrong in whatever it is. However, in this situation there is no right way to handle it. Doing the right thing and showering the person speaking ill of you only justifies their rumor of you being a flirt, because they are too immature to be able to tell the difference.
Rumors suck.
Luckily, in high school we are blessed to be around immature people all day who just love to spread them. What a joy. regardless of what others think of you, do not let it change you as a person. Not everyone will have something bad to say about you, even if it may feel that way. Stick through it, just be nice, and keep on laughing because you can.
JSL

Impacts.

“To the whole world you might be just one person, but to one person you might just be the whole world.” -Pablo Casals

You may be told by adults that just one person can make a difference in the world. Although true, this doesn’t mean that everyone will make a worldwide impact. Not everyone can be a world leader or prime minister. There was only one Napoleon Bonaparte, one Genghis Khan, and only one Bill Gates. The average person rarely makes an impact upon their cities or country, let alone the whole world. But did any of those people really change your world? They may have changed history and could be the reason you live your life a certain way, but did any of those people make you feel love, pain, or happiness?  Think about it. Who makes a bigger impact on your life, your friends and family or a leader of another country? Although your life could be altered by an important figure far away from you, your everyday life is changed by those around you. That cute boy you bumped into and shared a smile with today could make you think more than a foreign policy made by a European politician. I’m not saying that what the politician did wasn’t important or that it didn’t change hundreds of people’s lives, but your world wasn’t changed. 

Although you may not be in a position of power or have a lot of influence on the world, that doesn’t mean you should brush off the idea that you don’t make an impact on the world. You may not make a difference globally, but you can change someone’s world. 

When you were born, you had already made an impact on your family’s life, even without being able to speak a word. Ever since then, every action and every thought made a difference in someone’s life, including your own. So why not make it a positive difference? Instead of brushing someone off when they try to have a conversation, why not give them a few minutes of your time and have a conversation with them? Don’t ignore the girl whose papers fell on the floor, all you have to do is pick a few papers up for her and be on your way. 

In that same sense, don’t go through life not committing fully to relationships, whether it be relationships with family, friends, or even a significant other. Spend time with your family, love them and take time to talk to them everyday. With your friends, help them through anything you can. Be there for them through thick and thin, don’t shy away from helping them just because it inconveniences you. Take relationships seriously. Don’t shy away from a date because it means you’re risking something. Take that risk, even if it means you could get hurt or people would start talking. You owe yourself the chance to be happy with someone and to love them. If you’re already with someone, don’t take a single second for granted. Enjoy every single happy, sad, angry, or frustrating moment with them. Love them with all of your heart if it feels right, don’t be afraid of being left behind or hurt. Change someone’s world for the better and they might just change yours at the same time.

Anatomy.

The structure of the human body. We are all made of essential parts that make us who we are. Femurs. Pelvis'. Skulls. What blows my mind away though, is that I have discovered that a multitude of high school students have learned how to survive without one very important part of our structure, a backbone. 

One may think it is impossible to survive without such a crucial element of oneself, but trust me, I meet more and more of these interesting specimens every day. Squirming in situations that contradict with what they believe in, never really saying what they feel. Never count on one of these creatures to side with you when you are not present. The are not the ones to back anyone up, the spineless ones. A warning I must give to you is that in high school, you must have a back bone or else you will be trampled on by others. Because of the rarity spines are in high school, if you are able to grow one, you will gain much respect amongst your peers. 

One my think that standing up for what is right is just common sense. In high school, however, you discover that this is not the case. As high school students, we tend to assimilate and do just as everyone else does, making it seem like doing the right thing is going against the grain, and is something that cannot be done. On the surface, assimilation is difficult to see. It becomes most prevalent when individuals are placed in situations where they must pick a side. Sadly, these are the situations that determine who truly values you as a friend, and who values the opinions of others, over you. 

Instances where one must prove they have a spine are not easy. It takes a large amount of courage to stand up for the right thing when the odds are not in your favor. Although one may think the outcome for doing what is right would be a reward, or something of that nature, it is often the opposite because of those blinded from what is good and bad. 

Friends turn on friends.

Rumors are spread. 

Reputations are tarnished. 

If you are allowed the chance to prove to one person, that you have a back bone. Do not hesitate. People will change in high school, your friends will not be who they say they are, and people will say bad things about you. But if you can show one person, that you are among the last of those who have a spine, no matter what consequences occur, it will be worth it. Your character speaks volumes regardless of how many are in the audience. That is what is really important in high school, your character. Without a back bone, nothing is there to hold your character. As long as you are actively attempting to improve your character or establish what your character is, you can just start laughing at the spineless who claim false statements about you. They just want what you have and they do not. 

Privacy.

Why do we feel the need to plaster all of our information and whereabouts on the Internet? Are we ignorant enough to believe our "private" will only be seen by a selected group? One day, when we are in the process of competing for a position amognst others, are we not going to let our possible future employer follow us on twitter or instagram? Thankfully, I have strict parents who look at every post I make on any form of social media. Any bad choices I make that end up on social media will be the end of my social life. Thank you Iphone family plan. Yet I still know of all the bad decisions my friends or other high school students have made because I see them as I scroll through my timeline.
Choices in general, regardless of peer pressure, are made by that individual alone. Whether the choice they made was the right one or not, is not up for me to determine. As I have stated before, judging is something we all do, and I attempt to refrain from it, but it is really difficult to prevent myself from judging when people post their decisions, practically presenting it on a silver platter for everyone to take an opinion on. Some may say that they do not care about the judgment of others, kudos to them. But I would want to hear them say that again if I were to let them know that the parents of their friends were able to see what they post. Or be able to see them after being questioned on a decision they made now, in a few years when they are being hired for a job.
The fact that my generation will not hesitate to post things on social media, but then hesitate when their parents ask to see their phone bewilders me.
JSL

Why you can not be nice.

 When I think of a nice person, certain qualities come to mind. I see them smiling down the hallway, or maybe going out of their way to help someone with homework or holding the door for someone. People who are no afraid to have a polite conversation with someone they just met, and are the ones always giving compliments. I feel as if this species of high schoolers are on the verge of extinction. In high school, individuals are criticized for being nice, or even civil to others. Girls in particular. Words such as "flirt" and "tease" are thrown around with no other goal other than to take someone down. Because of this, the nice people are forced to adapt to their new surroundings and become curt, and almost rude to others. 

Talking to someone has taken on a whole new meaning. Originally, talking was simply an action word, used to describe an interaction between two persons having a civil conversation. Now, as described on Urban Dictionary, is the stage between friends and having a relationship with someone. Now much like other homonyms such as address, nail, cool, and jam, the word "talking" requires context to determine its meaning. However, the context for both uses of the word is often the same, and is often defaulted to the newer meaning in high school. This is what creates the problem I stated earlier of the dying out of nice people.

Social media is also assisting to their extinction. "Hitting someone with that no reply" is rude, but replying to someone and, heaven forbid, having a conversation with them, is perceived as a sign of interest. Most people are just being nice. Why can we as high schoolers not allow ourselves to believe that is the case? Are we already convinced their breed has gone extinct?   If our overall goal in this world is to be good people, people who are nice to one another, why do we force others who have achieved that to convert? 

I blame hormones. Our teenage bodies are filled to the brim with hormones that make our brains desire for affection. We jump as the slightest signs of affection or interest. Personally, I think we all need to take a deep breath and relax. Just because and individual is interested in another individual, does not make the feeling mutual. This is something that needs to be realized by both the ones involved, and also the other hundred watching with their popcorn because they are more concerned with their peers' lives than they are with themselves. 

You can be nice in high school, I encourage you to be, but good luck. By doing so, and being able to not mind others' comments is something I wish to be able to do one day. For now, however, I am going to continue and tell others to not care what people say, but myself care about every word. Hypocritical, yes, but I never claimed I was mature yet. 

Teachers.

The educators, the ones who determine our future, the ones whom you must suck up the most to, and more individuals who can make or break your high school years. Now some may say, "don't let the bad days bring ya down", but when you have to see the same awful teacher every, single day, it becomes difficult to keep the clouds from covering your sunshine. Cheesy, yes, but it gets the point across. Even the best of days can be drained of their light when the ominous clouds are forecasted to appear during second hour. However, there are also rainbows, which sometimes follow the clouds during third.
Now one thing to remember about judging your teacher, they are individuals too. they have a life outside of teaching, and most importantly they might not like you either, but hopefully, they will be mature and you will never know that you are one of their least favorites. Everyone has bad days, including them, and as much as it seems to be the right thing to do when you wish to arrogantly point out where they are wrong, it is probably not a good idea. In some of these cases, with the teachers who are not at their maturity level yet, this may end up in your grade suffering.
There are many things that may cause your disdain for the teacher; such as harsh grading policies, monotone speakers, too much homework, inflexibility. All of which can make your life less stressful if they would be removed. Those rainbows that I spoke of earlier are the ones who make you dislike other teachers more because, as humans, we constantly compare things, including other humans. The rainbows that dazzle up your depressing days really get us through high school. In my opinion, most (not all) teachers strive to be a rainbow, but some try too hard and get judged for going "over the top". Some teachers may have already tried to be a rainbow, but they let the student clouds block their sunshine, and by the time you have them as a teacher they have just given up on trying to please everyone. Which I believe is a real act of maturity which we should all strive for.
Regardless of how many clouds and rainbows you have throughout your day, realize that you have to suck up to all of them. Do what they tell you to do, do not back sass, and know that they are the ones who will aid you into the next stage of your life. 

Family.

In the country of Norway, sports teams are not held through the school system, only through clubs. Now granted, schooling in Norway is free of charge through college, but not having activities run by the school takes the, as one may say, "nationality" of a school away.

In my opinion, the extra curricular activities are what makes students have pride in their school. Of course, academics come first, and it is always nice to know that you are getting a great education, even without an outdated banner to prove it. Cougar Nation, would not be a nation without the sports it cheers on. The foot ball team refer to themselves as a "family", and while some people make fun of them for it, I fully support the idea behind it, and it must be working for them, we are 6-0. No matter what sport you are in, knowing that you have your own personal fan club of peers behind you makes people better people in my opinion. Everyone has their own interest, whether it is a specific sport or show choir, and as a school, we should be supportive of each other in every aspect, regardless if you have the same passion. I believe that Kennedy High School has many families, which, in turn, creates a larger one that we are all apart of. Many of us will not go on to do the things we feel so passionately about now, after college, and our time is running out to do the things we love. While in high school, some of the fondest memories I feel as if most will remember, are the ones where they are cheering their school on. Having the biggest student section at football games, standing ovations at plays, making it all they way to the well in basketball, having a show choir ballad bring you to tears. These are just some examples. When speaking about any sport, whether I am or am not involved, I use possessive articles when referring to Kennedy "We are 6-0." "Our swimming team won last night." So even if you are not involved in any extra activities at Kennedy, (even though I would strongly recommend it, there is so many things to choose from) do not be afraid to support the people who are involved. They are not just playing for themselves, they are playing for the school, for us, our family. It bewilders me to see people making fun of that. All we want to do as high school students is to be a part of something, to feel included. It does not always have to be exclusive. Those are the ones who make me just start laughing because they are the ones who are missing out.

How To Go Far In Life.

Now keep in mind that I am not able so solve all life's problems for you, but I can let you in on a little secret that will solve many of them.
Politeness.
Some have never heard of it, some think it is an urban legend only old geezers believe in, but I am here to confirm the rumors. Politeness is in fact, a real thing. Many across the land have long forgotten about this gem of a personality trait and it has been lost in the layers of generations that have neglected to recognize its beauty. Now we must mine deep in ourselves to find what will solve a lot of our problems. Here are some ideas that will help you make the world a better place and will make you feel like a better person:
Holding the door open for someone
Smiling
Laughing at someone's jokes
Supporting someone's opinions
Know where the line is
Know that not everyone has a thick skin
And here are some things some may call "don'ts"
Do not ignore people
Do not purposely make someone feel lesser of themselves
Do not criticize one's opinion
Do not fail to read the body language of someone
Now these are just a few minor suggestions, and they may be difficult for some, especially those who have never heard of the crazy idea of "politeness". Politeness will take you far in life, and solve many problems, I would say you would have 99 that it would solve and the one left over would be solved by growing thicker skin. In high school, sensitivity is something that can not be taken lightly. There are subjects you have to be very careful when referring to them among certain individuals. It seems as though the topics you can have a conversation on with others is narrowing every day. Some people, choose to disregard other's sensitivity and just speak their mind, not seeing and or caring about the feelings they hurt. Which goes along with the politeness characteristic they lack. However, you cannot be overly sensitive and not allow people to speak their mind around you. Having a "thick skin" is a must in surviving what high school throws at you. Of the problems high school presents you, imaginary ones made up in your head will make up the most of them. In all reality, you should not lose sleep over the majority of them. It all situations, regardless of where you are or who you are with, you can always make the most your time by finding the politeness I am confident we all have, no matter how buried it may be. That is how you will go far in all aspects of your life.
JSL

PDA.

Public Displays of Affection. Let us go over what this is first, the phrase is self-explanatory for the most part, but one's tolerance of it varies immensely. In high school, depending on the administration and how well they enforce the policy your school has, you might see some of these things as you walk through the hall: hand holding, hugging, kissing, or fully blown out french lip smacking. Now I cannot speak on your behalf, you may be one to side with those whom are intolerant completely to the actions, I, on the other hand am not completely repulsed by the sight of it... in moderation. As someone who has been in a long-lasting relationship before, I understand the hand holding, the hugs and when he wraps his arm around her. It is cute, harmless, and it makes me happy knowing that they make each other happy. When it comes to the lip smacking, that where I see where the repulsion comes from. Little kisses are okay, they might rub me a bit the wrong way, but if you really think about it, you almost just shared a private moment with two people, and I think that is a wonderful thing to experience. Anything past that is too much for me. Learn to control yourself people. My whole philosophy is that if you would not do it in front of your parents then you should not be doing it at all. That may sound cliché, but I am a firm believer of respecting your parents and knowing that they are only want to maintain your "image" and would not let you do something you will regret. (Image is more of a relative term and is something I will elaborate on at a later date) On to the dissenting opinion, I can understand where some may see PDA as something they may not think they are capable of, but I think that may be just a confidence thing. Do not get me wrong, I can see where people can go too far, but those who think that there should absolutely no PDA at all, what is it really doing to affect you? That is something else I will talk about at a later date, Confidence. But as you experience high school, whether you are offended by PDA or not, just walk by and just start laughing either way.
JSL

Consequences.

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. One of Newton's laws is relevent in many instances, including the actions and decisions you make in high school. Every high school student needs to understand that the biggest critiques in your life will best the ones whom you hold most dear. Your closest friends will be the ones to make you feel the most terrible about actions that you make. The truth is you will rarely have even half of the amount of close friends you had as freshmen, when you graduate four years later. People change all to quickly, and most of it will go unnoticed until it is too late. The best route to take is the one of not looking too much sleep over anything. It is still good to have an awareness of what you look like in others' eyes, but take their opinions lightly. Adults on the other hand, you should always aim to please. Being right is not always a good enough reason to argue or give any sass. They are the ones with connections that can help get you out of high school to do bigger and better things, so sucking up is always acceptable to an extent. Now after you have made a decision or done an action that you start to regret, it has only started. Once you feel the guilt, and all the eyes on you in the hall, it is a hard feeling to shake. Remember that what ever you did, has happened and is in the past, there is nothing that can be done and your best bet is to move on. Rumors die down and your moment of glory will not last as long as you think it will. People forget, not everyone, but most. The people who do not forget and bring it up just to remind you about the situation, are the worst kind of people. They are typically the ones who are jealous of you and just want to see you down for once, but do not let those irrelevant people get in the way of your happiness. People make mistakes and it is okay. Stay written as an open book, let the terrible teenagers flip through your pages instead of allowing them to write their own biography of you. When people start to do that, they often do not do their research and add too many plot twists.
JSL

Pressure.

Peer pressure is one of the worst things high school kids have to deal with, along with many others, but those are to be discussed at a later date. Peer pressure shows itself in two main forms. There is indirect, where you just want to do what everyone else is doing, and direct, where someone tells you what they think you should be doing. Both, in my opinion, are very terrible to have to deal with. Going along with my last post, I believe that high school dances are a prime place for peer pressure to occur. Yes drinking and smoking are one thing to be pressured about, but I believe if people know where you stand on things like that and you are with the right crowd, that will not be as big of an issue. The pressure that is the most frustrating is the actual dancing itself in my opinion, based on personal experience. Now, I apologize to kids everywhere for revealing this information to potential adults and parents reading this, but it has to be said. Some of the dancing or "grinding" at dances can be just plain disgusting. I do believe that there is a this as tasteful grinding, where you are not so engrossed with your partner that you can have a good time with the people around you, but some couples look like they need a bedroom. Freshmen, bless their souls, get thrown into the mix all too often, and they are the ones whom peer pressure most impacts. They are the ones who make different decisions when they are in that setting that they may regret later. The best advice that I could give anyone, not just freshmen, is to make the decision before you get tot the dance, and if you do decide to grind, only dance with your date, it will work out better for everyone in the end. Peer pressure to dance with someone happens, so be prepared for it. As I said earlier, I do believe in tasteful grinding, but just keep in mind that id you do grind or do not at all, you can still have a spectacular time.
If all else fails, just start laughing.
JSL

School Dances.

The Before.
The best and worst nightmares of high school kids across the nation. Much like the terrifying team-picking at recess in elementary, high school dances cause the nerves and self doubt to arise in many teens. Thanks to the vast array of hormones being produced within our bodies, dances have the power to make or break our whole high school experience. However, when executed correctly, dances are able to stand out as the some of the best memories made in high school.
The couples are the ones who cause the most self-inflicted stress about ourselves. Questions such as, "Why am I not good enough?" "Is it because I don't look like her." emerge out of thin air. Or for others, the more fortunate, yet not better off stress related, worry about the wrong person asking them. "Does he think I like him?" "Will others think so?" "Oh no, I wanted someone else to ask but I can't say no." Coming from a female perspective, I believe that guys, in theory, are less stressed when asking the girl to the dance. There seem to be next to no circumstances where the answer is no. The again, as a sometimes over confident person, this may be inaccurate. Once the extravagant plan has been made on how you ask someone to a dance, which gets to be more and more elaborate every year, (mainly for social media purposes) the stress on attire emerges. If you are close with the individual you are going with, it would be easier for them. On the other hand, telling someone what you want them to wear is always difficult to word without coming across bossy. No matter the dance, Homecoming, WPA, Saddie Hawkins, Prom, the female typically determines the color and what clothing the male wears. Usually the female has her dress before she even gets asked, because the guys seem to wait longer and longer until they pop the question, and has already envisioned what she wants him to wear. This is where the conversation sometimes seems to be walking a thin line because, dress clothes are not cheap. The dance itself is a whole other cause to fret. Groups of friends get mixed up due to dates and different friends, and dinner reservations always need to be made before anyone knows who they are going with. The day of the dance you can find every spa in town full of girls in line to compete for the "prettiest" on of the night. In my opinion though "prettiest"is a relative term and you should be the best in your date's eyes regardless. The day continues and pictures start popping up on all instagram, snapchat, twitter, everywhere. Cute couple pictures mixed with the awkward "I barely even know this person I am still not sure why they asked me but I feel obligated to post a picture because we took them and I look really good" pictures which everyone has to like. Everything is seems to be a competition, but what in high school isn't?
JSL